In some ways, this a totally random and pointless post, but I think it’s important because maybe you’ve had some weird birthday experiences too. Last Thursday was my 29th birthday. Twenty-nine seems way older than 28 for some reason. I think it’s just that much closer to 30. Regardless, I had fairly low expectations for the day. I feel like weekday birthdays can never be as much fun. To be honest, I also hadn’t really thought too much about what I wanted to do or what I expected.
That’s kind of weird for me because birthdays are always a big deal in my mind. They always have been. I always expected something magical to happen on my birthday. Honesty, magical things very rarely happened, but up until I was 12, birthdays were still just good.
The Sleepover Party Era of Birthdays
I don’t remember much of my first couple of birthdays. The first one I remember clearly is my sixth. I got to have my first sleepover. I had a bunch of friends over. We got Pizza Hut pizza (my favorite at the time) and a Dairy Queen ice cream cake. I got white and pink roller blades from my parents (which PS were super cool in 1995 when this took place) with matching helmet, knee pads, etc. That was a magical day for my six year old self. The bar for birthdays was set pretty high.
For the next several years, a birthday meant a sleepover, pizza, and ice cream cake. Also birthdays meant Red Lobster because that was where I always picked to go for my special birthday dinner out with my family. I really loved those Cheddar Bay Biscuits.
The First Disappointing Birthday
I remember the first time I had a bad birthday. I was turning 12. My mom wasn’t home for my birthday. She was in Missouri with my dying grandpa. My dad did his best to make that day special, but the deck was stacked against him. My mom was gone. My grandpa was dying. We forgot about having a cake. I had a Latin test, if I remember correctly. The gift my sister got me (the computer game “Theme Park Tycoon”, I believe) wouldn’t work. I remember crying in my parents closet because I was just super disappointed in how the day had turned out.
After that, I stopped trying to have high expectations of my birthdays. It didn’t work well because I just wanted them to be as awesome as they were when I was younger. I found that birthdays had lost their magic somehow. Sure, it was still a special day. However, I always wanted it to bring something it never seemed too.
A String of Disappointing Birthdays
In high school and college, I always hoped that my birthday would be the day I would meet someone special or get asked out or have my first kiss or really anything even remotely romantic. That never happened. As the years went by, birthdays just because a reminder that another year had gone by and nothing romantic had happened. Such a disappointment.
The circumstances of some of the birthdays didn’t help. On my 21st birthday, I had made plans with a friend to go out to get my first drink. She had to cancel on me because another friend’s relative had passed away or something and she felt she needed to support her.
No one even knew it was my birthday on my 22nd birthday. I guess my boss knew. She took me out to lunch. My housemates didn’t know. I didn’t know how to tell them (plus I didn’t seem them a ton, we were all pretty busy) and I felt stupid. I had only lived with them a couple of weeks. Planning some sort of celebration seemed more than our few week old relationship warranted.
A Break…and Then a Break Up
Finally, I got a break. My first boyfriend ever asked me out just a few weeks before my 23rd birthday. He worked to make my birthday really special, and it was. A year later, he broke up with me a few weeks before my 24th birthday. While we were having the breaking up chat, I actually said, “Thanks for ruining my birthday.” Yes, that seems selfish, but I just didn’t want to have another miserable birthday. There had been so many and he had broken up the bad ones with the one good one I had had in awhile.
Things Did Get Better…
Since Zach and I have been together, my birthdays have been a bit better. However, our first one together (while we were still dating), he had bought tickets to an Oregon Ducks Football game on my birthday before he knew it was my birthday/that I was moving to Oregon. We went out to dinner the night before and then I cried for a while because I was turning 25 and I had always assumed I would be married by 25. The day itself ended up being decent (I went to a corn maze with my roommates).
My 26th birthday made up for the crying on my 25th. Zach and I were at our second reception for our wedding. I honestly didn’t even care that it was my birthday because I was so happy to be married.
The last couple of years, my birthday has been pretty low key. Just going to dinner with Zach and getting cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory for dessert. Nothing super fancy, but it’s good, low prep, and means I don’t have to cook or do dishes on my birthday, which is a plus.
This Year’s Birthday
This year we did that too. But this year was different. I just feel like I’m in a different place or something. I just felt super loved. I had texts from friends and family. A good long chat with my mom. A bunch of birthday greetings, cards, and even a balloon birthday bouquet at work. I just felt so much more connected than I have in some other years. I didn’t have any classes or tests and I got to leave work early, which was great.
So here’s to you 29. Honestly, 28 has been one of my better years in a lot of ways with lots of good things happening (though lots of change too, which I don’t exactly love all the time). May 29 be as good as birthday 29 was, surprisingly joyful and full of love. Also, if you were one of the people who made my birthday special, thank you. It’s a little thing, but it means a lot.
What are some of the things that make your birthday feel special? What is the worst birthday you’ve ever had? Share in the comments below.
Photo by Lidya Nada on Unsplash