Some of the most candid prayers I’ve ever prayed were laced with profanity. I was in my early twenties and my life had not played out the way I thought it would or should. I didn’t have a clear career path. I didn’t even know what I would have wanted to do if money were no object. I was still painfully single even while friends were getting married all around me. I had done all the things I thought God wanted me to do, and yet here I was, without any of the good things I thought I was entitled to. Every night I told God how upset I was with how my life had turned out. For the first time in my life perhaps, my prayers were honest.
I think Martha and Mary could relate to how I was feeling. They had decided to follow Jesus. They had hosted them in their home. Mary had been told she had chosen well when she chose to sit at Jesus’ feet and learn rather than help her sister with all the housework. They were loved by Jesus. John 11:5 clearly tells us so.
Mary and Martha’s Let Down
Despite that, in John chapter 11, Jesus doesn’t come when they need him most. They send Jesus a message that their brother, Lazarus, is sick. He’s healed so many people. Surely he will come and heal this man that he loves in a family that he loves. But he doesn’t come. He waits two days before he decides to go and visit them.
By the time Jesus arrives, Lazurus is dead. In fact, he’s been dead for four days and they’ve already buried him. When Martha hears that Jesus is on his way to them, she comes out to meet him. Mary, the one who chose so well previously, decides to stay at home. Presumably, she doesn’t want to face Jesus.
Martha’s Honesty
As soon as she sees Jesus, Martha is honest. She knows that Jesus has the power to keep Lazarus from death. She believes in Jesus, even if he didn’t do what she wanted, what she so desperately hoped he would do. She says so, but she also says right to his face, “If you had been here, he wouldn’t have died.” She still believes in him, but she doesn’t understand. She’s hurt.
Mary’s Honesty
When Martha returns home, she tells Mary that Jesus is looking for her. Mary decides to go talk to him. Mary can’t hold it together. As soon as she sees him, she bursts into tears at his feet. “If only you had been here,” she cries, my brother wouldn’t have died.”
Mary and Martha don’t put on a happy face. They don’t pretend to be okay in front of Jesus while their hearts are breaking. They don’t understand why Jesus didn’t do for them what he did for so many others even though he loved them and their brother so much. They are honest with Jesus. He could have done something, but he didn’t.
Jesus’ Response
It’s important to note something here. Jesus doesn’t admonish them for a lack of faith. He doesn’t give Martha a lecture when he tells her he will rise again and she jumps to the end times, thinking he is speaking only of a far-future resurrection. Yes, Jesus had raised people from the dead before and there were other biblical examples of people being raised from the dead, but all those people were freshly dead. Their bodies were not decomposing. Mary and Martha think Lazarus is beyond hope. Jesus doesn’t chide them for this. He enters into their sorrow. He goes to Lazarus’ grave and begins to weep as well.
Jesus enters into the suffering and sorrow of the sisters, but he doesn’t leave them there. He does something no one expects him too. He asks them to open his grave. Even Martha thinks this is a bad idea because the body already smells bad. Decomposition has set in, but that doesn’t stop Jesus. He calls Lazarus, a man beyond hope, out of the grave, and out he comes.
This story teaches us a few things:
God rarely works in the ways we expect of him.
It seemed the most obvious thing in the world that Jesus would come and heal his friend Lazarus. But that’s not what he does. He chooses not to show up when he’s called for, not because he doesn’t love Lazarus and his sisters, but because he has something greater in mind. When God doesn’t show up the way we think he should, we should remember this story. If God doesn’t come through like we think he should or how we expect, it means he has something greater in mind.
We can be honest with God.
We don’t have to pretend to be okay before God when we’re not okay. Mary and Martha didn’t doubt that Jesus could heal their brother. They were hurt when he didn’t. It’s okay for us to be upset when God could do something to heal a person or a situation and he doesn’t. Our prayers can be honest. God can take it. I could be wrong, but I have a feeling that God prefers raw, honest, and irreverent prayers over the calculated, inauthentic, and reverent speeches that sometimes pass for prayer. Mary and Martha weren’t afraid to be truthful about what they were thinking and feeling. We shouldn’t be either.
Jesus sits with us in our pain.
Jesus cries over the loss of his friend Lazarus. Yes, he knows he’s about to raise him from the dead, but he still feels the pain of loss. He enters into that with his friends Martha and Mary. He doesn’t solve it right away. He just feels it. Jesus won’t always solve our problems, but he will always be with us in our pain. We are never alone. He is always by our side. It may not solve everything, but it makes the pain more bearable to have someone suffer with us.
God can raise to life things we thought were past saving.
Everyone thought that Lazarus was past hope. Though Martha and Mary trusted Jesus and knew he was powerful, they didn’t think he could bring their brother back. They thought Lazarus was too far gone. But he wasn’t. God can bring back to life any dream, relationship, career, or anything else we think is past hope. Nothing is ever too far gone for God’s power.
Just like Mary and Martha, I saw God work through my situation in my early twenties. God definitely did not work the way I expected him to, but he was working. I learned that I could be completely honest with God. In that honesty, I found a new depth of intimacy with God that I have treasured ever since. I discovered that Jesus was there in my pain. He didn’t always take it away, but he sat alongside me. Best of all, God brought back to life dreams I thought were dead. God can do the same for you.
Photo by Samuel Martins on Unsplash