There’s something I’ve been pondering for the last couple of years: is church important, and if so, why? I realized in a conversation with friends last week that I’ve become very passionate that the answer is yes, which is surprising considering my own journey.
I grew up in church and was on staff at a large church for 6 years. However, I had some serious questions when COVID hit. I hated online services and found them pointless and boring. I also realized I didn’t miss church at all during that time, which was a weird experience for me.
What is church and why does it matter?
Church is a purposeful gathering of believers for the purpose of pursuing God together and encouraging one another in discipleship. It’s the coming together of the body of Christ. The book of Hebrews tells us not to give up meeting together, and Jesus and the Holy Spirit establish the church in the New Testament. God doesn’t think it’s good for us to be alone, and living out the Christian life is hard. Something special happens when believers gather together.
Why I struggled with modern church services
During COVID (and honestly before), church services had become a show to me. I saw all the work that went into them and often felt showmanship rather than authenticity from those leading. More importantly, I realized that in our large church, I didn’t matter. It didn’t matter whether I was there, whether I sang, or if I participated. I was unnecessary to the service, as was everyone else in the “audience”. We were all just passive observers watching a show, and it wasn’t even a very good show.
Most of our modern church services are more like performances than community. There are people on stage who perform, and the rest of us just sit there. That’s not how the early church functioned—people were actively involved in what was going on.
Despite my hatred of services, I still felt connected to a church while I worked at the large church. The staff at my church functioned as a church within a church. There I felt encouraged and discipled, but most people weren’t on staff, so most people were missing out on the best part of the church.
Why I love my current church and how it’s helped my struggles
The church my husband and I now attend is much smaller. After my experience at the large church, I really wanted to be in a smaller church, and I love where we are now. I don’t think that a church has to be small to function as God intended, but I think it’s easier to truly be a church when you’re smaller. Church is really about community. It’s about being around followers of Jesus who are both ahead of you and behind you in the faith journey. That’s easier to accomplish in a smaller setting.
I want to be in a place where I can more easily get to know people and be known by them. I want to notice when new people come and for others to notice when we’re absent. I want to be able to be highly involved in things without having to be on staff and my whole life be the church. I want a place where I feel like I make a difference and I can feel the difference that others make on me.
As a parent, I also want my kids exposed to people who love God but have completely different stories than our immediate family. Our church has couples married over 50 years, widows and widowers, divorced adults, people with money, people with almost no money, all kinds of backgrounds and life paths. I want my kids to see that God can work in a thousand different ways and weave unique stories that all have different challenges and heartaches, but are all good in the end. In a larger church, age groups are often seperated so much, young kids aren’t often exposed to so many age groups.
I want to experience, and I want my kids to experience, the body of Christ. I want to be able to actively use the gifts God has given me to serve the church, and I want to be served by the gifts that God has given other people in the church. I want a church that truly feels like family because I think that’s what the early church was like.
The discipline of community
Am I always jumping for joy to go to church? No. But that’s part of the beauty. Being involved in a community is a discipline, and everything that causes us to be more like Jesus is a discipline. It’s not always easy or fun, but like exercise, it’s good for us. The question is: are we willing to trust God that it’s good for us and push through our own feelings? Church can be a wonderful gift from God if we’re willing to receive it.
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