This month on the blog, we’ve looked at the various ways men and women are different. Our bodies are different. Because of these differences, we think differently and our brains don’t function the same way. This, in turn, causes us to have different priorities. There are many differences in the ways that men and women function.
What I’m Not Saying
So what’s the point of showing that men and women are different? I can tell you what the goal is not. There are two opposite extremes that humanity, past and present, will go to when we’re thinking about gender. Both are a problem. Both have been accepted as the norm in various times and places.
We Can’t Relate, or One Gender Is Superior
I’m not trying to say that we’re so different we can’t relate. We’re not. We’re more alike than we are different, but we do have distinct differences. Those differences don’t keep us from being able to interact or understand each other. They’re just good to be aware of so we can better understand and help each other.
The genders aren’t so different that one is obviously superior to the other. The difference between men and women are split into categories of both pros and cons. Both genders have things they’re naturally better at and other things they’re naturally weaker at. They’re both superior in some ways and both inferior in others. There isn’t a clear “winner” in the battle of the sexes.
Gender Doesn’t Matter
Conversely, our differences also aren’t so small that they don’t make a difference. There are things that are distinct about men’s bodies, minds, and priorities. Women have their own distinctions as well. We need to be willing to acknowledge these differences because they matter.
You can’t just replace a man with a woman in a any given situation (or vice versa) and expect them to behave or function in exactly the same way. Depending on what the situation is, their actions and processes could be very different. Our gender affects the way we think, the way we function, and who we are.
The Point: We Complete Each Other
The point of pointing out our differences is to see how we complete one another. We really do need both genders. In the Bible, Genesis 2 tells us that after God made Adam, Adam was incomplete. He needed what has sometimes been translated as “a suitable helper.” In Hebrew, that phrase literally means something like “a helper according to the opposite.” Adam needed someone who could do the things he couldn’t. He needed someone who was strong where he was weak. He needed someone to complete him.
Let’s be clear, having a woman/wife doesn’t really “complete” a man (nor does having a husband complete a woman), meaning that he isn’t a real person unless he has a woman in his life.. He is a complete person on his own. However, with a wife, a man does gain something important. He has (hopefully) a women who is strong where he is weak, someone who can give another perspective which helps complete the picture.
It’s Not Just about Marriage
You don’t have to be married to experience this completing either. When men and women interact in a healthy way, they are completing and complementing one another. Even if you’re not married or have never been in a relationship, you might have experienced this completing in a family, work, or even relational setting. Men provide something to women that they won’t get otherwise.
This isn’t just brute strength either. Having males in your lives that you interact with in a healthy way will make you a better woman. In the same way, women provide something to men that they can’t get from other guys. If we want to be the best we can be, we need people of the opposite sex in our lives. We just aren’t going to thrive the same way without that interaction. We’re going to miss things about God and about the world that the opposite gender can help bring to our attention.
Together We Form God’s Image
Why is that the case? God created humanity in his image. Because we are created male and female, his image is split between the genders. There are aspects of his character that are demonstrated more by men and other aspects that are demonstrated more by women. To get a complete picture of who God is and what he is like we can’t just look at one gender. We have to examine them both and what is unique about them. Neither is more important than the other. Both are needed to get the complete picture, both of what humanity is supposed to be and of who God really is.
That’s why acknowledging gender differences is so important. When we say that one gender is exactly the same as the other, we discount the fact that God purposefully created us to be different. His plan was for men and women to reflect his character in different ways. He wanted us to complete and complement one another. That was how he designed humanity to function. We need each other because we were created to function together, male and female, as one united humanity.