God Loves You, but Your Happiness (or Misery) Is Not His Goal

I have a book on my shelf that I keep because I love the title and the cover. The book itself is not that well written (though at least it’s short), but the title and cover perfectly sum up another paradox of the Christian life. The book is entitled God Has a Wonderful Plan for your Life. The cover features a classical painting of the stoning of Steven, the first martyr.

If we’re honest, the Christian life is a paradox. It just is. It’s confusing and messy, but it’s what God calls us to. There are multiple ways in which God calls us to hold two seemingly competing things in tension. We started this series looking at the tension between God’s power and our responsibility. Last week, we looked at three ways that this can play out in our lives.

That tension between God’s role and our role isn’t the only tension, however. The cover of this book illustrates another. God does have a wonderful plan for your life, but I think he might have a different definition of wonderful than most of us.

God Doesn’t Care If You’re Happy

Okay, maybe that’s a harsh way of putting it, but it’s a true statement. Your happiness is not God’s goal. I firmly believed when I was growing up and in my early college years that if you followed God as closely as you could, God would give you the good life. Your life would be great. You’d never want for money. Your relationships would be healthy. God would bless you.

I was never taught that outright (so no hating on my parents on the churches I grew up in), but I think it was something that I picked up from the purity movement teaching and maybe a little bit the American way of life. The purity movement taught that if you did the right things, you would surely have a great marriage. The American way of life teaches that if you have a dream and you work hard enough and long enough, eventually you will succeed. In both cases, success is in reach if you do the right things.

Happiness Is Not a Biblical Concept

The problem is, that’s a lie and it’s not biblical. The apostles followed Jesus as closely as any of us can hope to. Their lives, for the most part were not comfy and cozy and happy. They were persecuted, beaten, thrown in prison, and killed in very unpleasant ways. If their lives are any indication, if you follow Jesus you shouldn’t expect the easy or the good life. You should expect to be hated, persecuted, and probably killed.

The apostles aren’t the only ones that demonstrate that this idea is a lie. The people who followed God in the Old Testament also experienced this truth. Think of Joseph, David, and Daniel. All of them were in miserable places during parts of their stories. Joseph was a slave and in prison. David spent years of his life living in caves running from the wrath of Saul. Daniel was captured as a young man and exiled to a foreign land. God is not in the business of giving people the easy life.

While I was in college and studying the Bible, church history, and the state of the modern church outside the US, I started to realize that maybe God did give those he loved and those who followed him well the good life. But that led me to an opposite lie:

God Is Out to Make You Miserable

As so often happens in life, I swung to the other end of the spectrum when I realized that my happiness was not God’s main goal. I started thinking that God wanted me to be as miserable as possible. Again, life did not seem to go well for Jesus’ apostles in the Bible or famous Christians throughout the ages. Why should I expect my life to be any different?

I’m not the only one that has fallen for this lie. How many people have been hesitant to really trust God because they assume that if they do, God will call them to go to Africa to be a missionary in some hot and dangerous place. It can be easy for us to look at biblical characters, church history, and even modern Christianity and assume that God will send us to do whatever would be most miserable for us.

At the time, the worst thing that I thought could happen to me was that I would remain single. Since that was my biggest fear, I assumed that God would call me to a life of singleness because he didn’t care about whether or not I was happy or if my hopes and dreams would come true. In my mind (and in the minds of many others), holiness and fulfilling God’s plan could only be achieved by being as miserable as possible.

A More Realistic View

Now, God’s goal is not that our lives are everything that we dream them to be. Each of us will have dreams in this life that will not be fulfilled. However, that doesn’t mean that he’s out to make us as miserable as possible. Just because all our dreams won’t be fulfilled doesn’t mean that if we hope for or dream for something that we are guaranteed not to get it for our holiness sake.

Though God is not out to make us happy, that doesn’t mean that he keeps us from any and all joy in life. If we look back at the lives of the apostles, they had moments of joy, even in the midst of their trials. They had incredible experiences of God’s presence. They developed friendships with people in the churches they worked with. Not to mention they got to be on the front lines of seeing God’s kingdom advance.

Even in the Old Testament, Joseph went through hard times, but he ended up with a cushy job and able to save his family. David spent a lot of time fleeing from Saul, but in the midst of that a loyal and fierce band of men gathered around him, and eventually he became king. Daniel also ended up in a position of power where he was able to do great things and had the favor of the king.

We Live in the Messy Middle

Our lives are never pure joy and happiness, but neither are they pure misery. We’re always living somewhere in the middle. We shouldn’t be surprised with hard times comes or when things don’t go our way. God does not answer every prayer, even ones that seem noble. God will not keep you from every hardship.

There should be no shock when some of our dreams don’t come true. God, like any good parent, never gives us every little thing that we want. Sometimes he says no. However, he isn’t just some evil masochist up in the sky either, taking everything we love and keeping us from any and every good thing.

God Is In the Messy Middle

God is a loving God. He sees every tear that we cry. Even without us saying anything, he knows every dream that we have. He even put some of those dreams there. Now the fulfillment of those dreams is never quite how we imagined it would be. Still, God is kind. I have found, and I think you will find too, that even if the big dreams go unfulfilled, God will be there, in the midst of the heartache and pain. Often, even in the midst of that, he will provide joy, even if the joy is simply found in an increase of his presence.

So don’t fear to offer your dreams to God, but hold those dreams lightly. For whether God gives you the desire of your heart or not, it will be for your good. In the words of C.S. Lewis, God is not tame or safe, but he is good.

Photo by Vladimir Tsokalo on Unsplash